Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Great Legs, Bruised Ego

I'm about to wheel my suitcase past a group of flight attendants when I hear ...

"I was adjusting my bra strap and one of the guys leaned forward and said, well let me help." Palms on her hips, freshly laquered nails in the air, Blondie's voice inches up another incredulous notch. "Can you believe it?"

Yep, I can.

Generally I stay away from flight ops. I prefer to pass on the aging recliners, the heightened sense of drama and find a quiet corner in the airport where I can maintain my sanity.

Only this time, I can't help it, I stop and drop my chin. Once I have my laughter under control, I look up and clear my throat. "Um, ladies, that guy is my husband," three shocked expressions meet mine, "he didn't mean anything, he just thinks he's funny."

"You can't know who I mean," Blondie's brows twitch, her nostrils flare, but a hint of uncertainty quirks her mouth. Crimson lipstick matches her manicure. "Do you have a picture?"

"Sure," I shrug and dig into my wallet. "Is this the culprit?"

The photograph is plucked from my fingers and the trio chatter like tropical birds before the group leader turns back to me. "How could you tell who we we're talking about?"

"You sound just like him."

This happens often and being more tom boy than fashionista I'm often entertained by Hubby's oddball remarks. Like;

"Hey honey, I just flew with this flight attendent who pulled up her skirt and asked if she should raise her hem."

My brows knit as I give Hubby a look. "And?"

"And I told her, not with those legs." Delighted with himself he grins.

"You didn't"

He nods. "Yep, she had great legs. I think she wanted a compliment."

I start to laugh. If she wanted a compliment, she got the wrong guy. I told him once he had great legs and he told me my bruise wasn't so bad.


  1. oh my God that is a hoot!
    This sounds like conversations in our house!

  2. Funny! Man, I won't go to him if I'm feeling needy! I would go to him for a laugh though. :) my husband is the opposite. He is always gushing. I sometimes wonder how much of the gushing is sincere....

  3. Yeah Meg, you've got to love a guy who can't get past Cindy Crawford's mole!

    You're a pretty woman Crystal, your guy should gush.

    Well Kat, I have to say the man is twisted, but at least he's twisted in my direction.

    Ladie's I'm so happy to see you!

  4. Hilarious!
    I'm all too familiar with that kind of compliment. My husband lovingly informed me my bruises and mosquito bites formed the Big Dipper.

    Loving your blog!

  5. I predict that I'm going to be a huge fan of your blog!

  6. Ooh I have to call my mother. She always told me to toot my horn, but I got kicked out of band before that could happen.

  7. My husband can come out with some funny stuff too. You know that book..."Sh*t my Dad Says"? Well, I started a file on my computer where I log "sh*t my husband says"...then one day I'm going to blog it. hee hee Good thing my hubby never gets on the computer...

  8. Men, it's best when they're useful as well as ornamental (My Mom), but they're sure good for blog fodder.
    Mike, Steven & Greg, you are, of course, exempt. :)

  9. It appears I have a clone! thanks for stopping by my artwork blog. I appreciate it.

  10. I don't know, Diva. I make an effort to make my wife's friends and work associates respect me so that her life will be easier, so I'm horrified by a guy who goes out of his way to make the people his wife works with think he's a crude sexist pig.

  11. Oh Boy, my fault. I would hate to think that my little story would brand my mate as a crude, sexist pig.
    Just for the record, our co-workers love him. So do I.

  12. Well, you know, it's easy to give a one-sided impression without meaning to--especially in the case of humor--and it's also true that every reader forms a different impression about the same post.

  13. as for me I think men being silly is funny - men thinking they are funny is silly.

    Women of the world unite...and laugh !

    Keep 'em coming Diva, keep 'em coming.

  14. Hey Marlia, welcome back to My Blog, My side. ;)
    Your comments are always a big fat happy hug!
    Thank you.