Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Stuck Like Glue

"Oh my," say's a woman as she peers at my name tag, "I wanted to fly." She sighs, then claps her hands. "Let me tell you about the interview."

I nod.

"Well, it's a long story."

"Better paraphrase," I say, "I have a flight to catch."

"Oh okay, but let me set the stage." She waves a hand in the air. "At the last minute a friend told me about an open house for prospective flight attendants, and even though my hair was long and thick," she shakes her silvery bobbed cut, "she suggested I add a hairpiece and wear false eyelashes."

I smile. I've just purchased my first ever set of false lashes hoping for a miracle cure to sticky mascara.

She's laughing. "I wore a red, white and blue mini skirt, a hairpiece anchored at the crown of my head and of course I had a small purse with a chain strap. Everybody who was anybody owned a purse with a chain link strap. They were very hip."

So much for a quick story, but I have time.

"Okay," she stamps her feet. "go go boots in white and I was all set. Only it was a humid day and the glue on one of my lashes got sticky and the damned thing slid around and I didn't know it was stuck about a inch above my right eye." She waggles her brows and gives a significant look. "I'm leaving out a lot of detail."

"Don't worry, " I grin, "I'm getting a great visual."

"Well, I set off to the interview. The reception area is on the lower level and I'm halfway down the stairs before I decide to let go of the rail so I'll look poised." She sniggers. "I tripped."

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh is right. I tripped. I tripped, went down several steps face first and knocked the hair piece askew."
She grins. "Oh let me tell you, three guys were laughing and five more looked downright comatose."

"So, what did you do?" I ask, knowing she doesn't need any encouragement.

"I tucked my hair under my arm, and looked around the waiting room, then took the last spot on a love seat, only I was so nervous, I knocked a girl off the other end."

The clerks are leaning on the counter and we're hanging on her every word.

"Okay, so you know I have an eyelash stuck under my brow, I've fallen down the stairs and all I can do is stuff the hair piece in my purse." She rolls her eyes. "I'll have you know that the interviewer was really sweet. She told me if I didn't make the final cut, to please try again and not to take it as a rejection."

She grins. We're captivated.

She claps her hands again. "Well, I thanked her and barreled out of that room, stopping only when I heard crashing behind me." Her eyes gleam. "Remember the purse with the chain link strap?"

We nod.

"A corner of the table cloth, caught in the purse strap, was attached to the cubicle." She grins. "Turns out those cubicles were all attached and when I charged off, they fell like dominoes."

"Oh no."

She grins at us. "I looked at that lovely young lady and told her if she didn't tell anyone I'd ever been there, I wouldn't either."

I grinned all the way to work.

8 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud at this!
    Another good reason for me to work from home..this could have easily been me.

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  2. Excellent narrative. So I take it she never got the job?

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  3. exit stage left...with the entire office dragging behind...very very funny!

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  4. Man you are a Helluva storyteller! I was on the edge of my seat. Here in my cubicle. With my chain link purse.

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  5. This woman was a riot. She pantomimed the entire story and I took notes. Don't you just love a good character?
    Ooh, reminds me of the one legged biker ...

    And Seriously guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments. Thank you.

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  6. Great story! Nice to start my day with a laugh! I'm your newest follower. Deb @ RaisingFigureSkaters.com

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  7. Excellent Deb, you brought back fond memories of the rink. I'm glad you're here. :)

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