Friday, October 14, 2011

Evil Intent

gene pool diva
Mornings are meant to be enjoyed in solitude. All I need is a pot of coffee and the opportunity to glare at the wall for an hour, or two.

Rob is perfect. He stumbles out to the couch, around two or three to watch old movies, and when I make an appearance, he greets me like I'm the best thing on the planet and then nods off for a few hours. Yep perfect.

Until ...

I can't find my coffee cup.

I can never find my coffee cup and the longer I search, the harder I snick the cabinet doors. "Dammit Rob." I hiss and grumble. I know this is his fault. It's always his fault.

Sprawled on the lazy boy, he lifts his head and blinks at me.

A muscle twitches beneath my left eye. "What have you done with my cup?" I roar, and then find it perched on a precarious pile of glassware.

Instead of nestling the bowls, like God intended, Rob has stacked them, small, medium, and then large in a growing pile of imminent disaster. An oblong casserole pan tops his creation and there in the center is my prized, insulated coffee cup."Dammit Rob."

The corners of his lips twitch.

And then I get it. "Oh my Gawd," I narrow my eyes, "you do this on purpose."

He grins.

"For eight years?"

He nods and I want to poke him with a fork. "Walk the dog," I say, "and make it a long one."

36 comments:

  1. LMBO...how cool a man with a sick sense of humor! Great share. I am liking this man. And loving getting to know you.

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  2. This was really cute! What a rascal of a husband you have! :)

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  3. Thanks Ladies. Rob is my perfect match. I haven't been bored in twenty years.

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  4. hahaha you sound like me in the morning only I'm a lot less verbal. I just glare...A LOT. :P

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  5. This is funny stuff. I'm glad we bumped into each other.

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  6. Everyday is April Fool's Day for The Man, but even he's figured out not to mess with me before I've reached optimal caffeine levels each morning.

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  7. Ahhhhhhh Diva, another gem. Soooooo funny.

    I hope your beloved Rob knows he is lucky to be married to you and not me!!!! That cup would be bouncing off his sorry @## as he exited the room with the dog in tow...LOL. I have NO sense of humour pre-coffee.

    Thanks for my morning chuckle,

    Cheers

    M

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  8. I don't get my morning time so I take time before bed but there are times they want to talk, I mean I'm in bed wanting to read or just be and there someone is, sitting on the bed talking to me. UGH!!! That's my quiet time and I need it.
    Love this post, your hubby can keep you going all day long. Take care and God Bless!!

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  9. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! I loved this!! Yet, how do you keep from knocking off his head? LOLOL!! I need my morning coffee. It makes me so much nicer...

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  10. boys will be boys... even when they are men...

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  11. Rob is perfect. Except that he let "man secret number 17" slip with that lax lip twitch! And after only 8 years? He is in trouble now, and not just with silly old you.

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  12. You must listen carefully to the silent language that men speak...as a clone of Adam, he was simply reminding you, a clone of Eve, "thanks honey for telling me the apple was cool to eat!"
    Yup, that single bite will come back and play havoc with us...hehe
    Great Post...so true! Marc :)

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  13. OMG, I'm a little afraid now. When you were describing the stack, before the twitch of his lips, I knew. And it made me like him even more.

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  14. Silly boy! At least he had fun in life, right? You can't ever be bored with a man like that around...

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  15. My hubby would do the same thing :) I guess when it's so easy to get under their skin, they just can't help it...

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  16. Yes the things we do. It keeps the spark alive if you ask me.

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  17. It seems Rob and Michael would get along. They could discuss dish stacking architecture (and ways to mess with our heads).
    Laugh out loud funny, girl :)

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  18. I swear he's my husbands brother/twin.
    I feel your pain. :-)

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  19. Hi everyone, I can't tell you how much fun I have with your hilarious comments.
    While I was flying, Rob backed his boat into the cable wire and snapped it in two. Grrr. No Internet!

    Grains of Sand, thanks for popping over, this one's for you ...

    Why did God create man first?

    Because every work of art needs a rough draft!

    Cheers all, have a great day. :) Kelly

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  20. Love your writing! Very funny too, just what I like. :)

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  21. Hi Karen, so glad you stopped by! Thanks for the nod.

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  22. Sounds like Rob has been taking lessons from Ray Romano! Great post!

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  23. Hi Carey, how nice to see you. The fearful part of me figures guys don't need lesson in lunancy. Thank goodness, I enjoy him!

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  24. I don't know what it is about coffee cups, but I always want a certain one. The coffee tastes the same no matter which cup I use, but some days I just have to have that special mug.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  25. You are so right Joyce. I research my sippy cups and they must be capable of sustaining scalding temperatures. (And in Dad's case, must be fairly spill proof. He's wiped out a lot of work over the years.)

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  26. Hilarious. I want to hang out with your husband. We could trade notes. If you have a chance go back to my blog and read the what game. My wife LOVED it!

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  27. Ha! I get it. I'm in touch with the closing of the cabinet doors with a bit more force than usual. I try to keep it minimal, but sometimes it just slips out of my hand and slams really hard! Woops! ;) Wink Wink. Cute story!

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  28. Such fun! He's a trickster, but not in a mean way. And he obviously knows where to draw the line - with some peeps, getting between them & their coffee would be grounds for murder.

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  29. All I could focus on was the Lazy Boy. It's the Lazy-Boy that's corrupting America and our men.

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  30. Don't forget the dog! Now that Simon's seventeen, he has a carpeted ramp so he can plop alongside the lazy boy, on the lazy-boy.
    Great to see you here!

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  31. Hi Beverly, thanks for stopping by. Rob crosses all lines. Thank goodness I find him funny.
    He does leave me alone when I pour a cup in the evening. I told him it was 'mental nap' time. Boy respects a nap.

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  32. Hi Jen, I'm just snicking the cabinets for, eh hem, quality control.

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  33. Dammit Rob! Haha. I have a Rob. His name is Joel. Always aiming to piss me off.

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  34. Your dog probably thinks it's great for he knows certain days he'll get a nice long walk. :)

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  35. Sounds like a healthy dynamic. :)

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  36. Woo hop, I cleared up my google id account. (I hope)
    Thanks for stopping by guys. Dog rules the house and at seventeen still gets countless walks. Healthy? I dunno. Happy? Absolutely!

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