Saturday, October 22, 2011

I'm Taking Duct Tape ...

So that your sympathies will be with me, and not Brat, as we make our way cross country, this is a repeat of my first post.
And no, she hasn't changed.

Never leak your plans to the youngest Sib. This is cardinal rule number one. A rule I violated when I gave the kid an advance peek at my first post.

"Oh," She said, "That's hysterical, but you can't post THAT on the web. "

Well crap. I sighed, dropped my mini masterpiece into the draft column and thought what next. Then I had a vision of wild dandelion hair and glittering blue eyes.

"Stop chasing your sister."

Chase her? I was going to kill her. Sliding a furtive look at Mom, I thundered after the brat, whose chubby legs were pumping up and down as she made her escape. She was naked.

She was always naked.

So I wasn't alarmed when she sat on the small of my back to watch Boris and Natasha outsmart Bullwinkle. Still in my swim suit, sprawled on the carpet, chin in my hands, I ignored her.

Then a warm trickle hit the small of my back. Slid down my side.

What? And then it hit me, I howled and lept to my feet.

Already on the run, she shot past my mother with a feral grin.

In the hallway, I almost caught her, but there's not much to grab on a naked toddler. My fingers were inches from her hair when Dad stepped out of his office. She slammed into his legs, clinging and crying now that she had a sympathetic audience.

"Kelly Louise, go to your room."

My mouth fell open. Didn't he understand. "But, she ... she ..."

"She's a baby." He patted her back and gave me a long patient look. "You're a fifth grader. She looks up to you."

Outraged, I heaved a sigh. "But ..."

Dad's brows rose. Safe in his arms, my sister smirked.

Narrowing my eyes, I stomped to my room and slammed the door against the frame.

"Kelly Louise ..."


  1. LOL...I love that story! So, bear with me...I can be slow... The Brat is your little sister? At first, I thought you were writing about your child. But...little sister? I have one of those and now it all makes sense. BTW....I love that pic of her - assuming it is your sister, or is it you? Whatever....Just keep writing because I love your stories!!!

  2. Having 2 younger sisters I can certainly relate. They always got the benefit of doubt! I was supposed to know better. LOL!!

  3. I have a younger brother - he was the one dismantling the new radio or burning a hole in the new carpet with candle wax - and I was the one who "should have watched him"! *sigh* But now he is 49 and he watches me!



  4. I have that little sister too and I was always suppose to know better. UGH!!! They just loved her more, I know it!! :o)
    Keep these stories coming, I love it and it reminds me so much of Cindy and I.
    Take care and have a blessed weekend.

  5. hahahaha OMG so that's what I get to look forward to with more than one child?

    I always wanted siblings but reading this makes me appreciate having been the only one. :P

  6. I've got a little brother..always hated the 13 year age difference until now.
    By the time he was old enough to hit his *evil* stage, I was too adult (in his toddler view) for him to terrorize.
    Thanks, Mom!

  7. I am the oldest of 5 girls. I feel your pain!!

  8. I'm the oldest of four. I too feel your pain. :) Fun story!

    I feel badly 'cause I am forever telling my oldest to back off the youngest because she is 6 years older. My youngest can be a handful so I'm sure she gets away with murder. I just don't want to deal with it!

  9. I love your stuff so much. I've been reading Hollis Gillespie again, and your tales from your youth remind me of hers.

  10. What's the problem? "Kelly Louise" just has no sense of humor!

    signed, Mike
    (youngest of 5 boys)

    BTW I think I would have stopped by the shower and slammed the bathroom door first.

  11. You guys were here even when I couldn't be. Thank you so much. Don't tell Brat, but I had a blast traveling with her. Well, right up until she signed texts to Mom, Brat & Smelly. Sigh

  12. I remember this one! I think I commented something about how it was too bad that she didn't have a little left for Dad. :O)

  13. Yeah, Brat's been raining on my parade for a looong time. Dad finally has her number :)