Saturday, October 22, 2011

I'm Taking Duct Tape ...


So that your sympathies will be with me, and not Brat, as we make our way cross country, this is a repeat of my first post.
And no, she hasn't changed.

Never leak your plans to the youngest Sib. This is cardinal rule number one. A rule I violated when I gave the kid an advance peek at my first post.

"Oh," She said, "That's hysterical, but you can't post THAT on the web. "

Well crap. I sighed, dropped my mini masterpiece into the draft column and thought what next. Then I had a vision of wild dandelion hair and glittering blue eyes.

"Stop chasing your sister."

Chase her? I was going to kill her. Sliding a furtive look at Mom, I thundered after the brat, whose chubby legs were pumping up and down as she made her escape. She was naked.

She was always naked.

So I wasn't alarmed when she sat on the small of my back to watch Boris and Natasha outsmart Bullwinkle. Still in my swim suit, sprawled on the carpet, chin in my hands, I ignored her.

Then a warm trickle hit the small of my back. Slid down my side.

What? And then it hit me, I howled and lept to my feet.

Already on the run, she shot past my mother with a feral grin.

In the hallway, I almost caught her, but there's not much to grab on a naked toddler. My fingers were inches from her hair when Dad stepped out of his office. She slammed into his legs, clinging and crying now that she had a sympathetic audience.

"Kelly Louise, go to your room."

My mouth fell open. Didn't he understand. "But, she ... she ..."

"She's a baby." He patted her back and gave me a long patient look. "You're a fifth grader. She looks up to you."

Outraged, I heaved a sigh. "But ..."

Dad's brows rose. Safe in his arms, my sister smirked.

Narrowing my eyes, I stomped to my room and slammed the door against the frame.

"Kelly Louise ..."

13 comments:

  1. LOL...I love that story! So, bear with me...I can be slow... The Brat is your little sister? At first, I thought you were writing about your child. But...little sister? I have one of those and now it all makes sense. BTW....I love that pic of her - assuming it is your sister, or is it you? Whatever....Just keep writing because I love your stories!!!

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  2. Having 2 younger sisters I can certainly relate. They always got the benefit of doubt! I was supposed to know better. LOL!!

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  3. I have a younger brother - he was the one dismantling the new radio or burning a hole in the new carpet with candle wax - and I was the one who "should have watched him"! *sigh* But now he is 49 and he watches me!

    Cheers

    M

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  4. I have that little sister too and I was always suppose to know better. UGH!!! They just loved her more, I know it!! :o)
    Keep these stories coming, I love it and it reminds me so much of Cindy and I.
    Take care and have a blessed weekend.

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  5. hahahaha OMG so that's what I get to look forward to with more than one child?

    I always wanted siblings but reading this makes me appreciate having been the only one. :P

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  6. I've got a little brother..always hated the 13 year age difference until now.
    By the time he was old enough to hit his *evil* stage, I was too adult (in his toddler view) for him to terrorize.
    Thanks, Mom!

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  7. I am the oldest of 5 girls. I feel your pain!!

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  8. I'm the oldest of four. I too feel your pain. :) Fun story!

    I feel badly 'cause I am forever telling my oldest to back off the youngest because she is 6 years older. My youngest can be a handful so I'm sure she gets away with murder. I just don't want to deal with it!

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  9. I love your stuff so much. I've been reading Hollis Gillespie again, and your tales from your youth remind me of hers.

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  10. What's the problem? "Kelly Louise" just has no sense of humor!

    signed, Mike
    (youngest of 5 boys)

    BTW I think I would have stopped by the shower and slammed the bathroom door first.

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  11. You guys were here even when I couldn't be. Thank you so much. Don't tell Brat, but I had a blast traveling with her. Well, right up until she signed texts to Mom, Brat & Smelly. Sigh

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  12. I remember this one! I think I commented something about how it was too bad that she didn't have a little left for Dad. :O)

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  13. Yeah, Brat's been raining on my parade for a looong time. Dad finally has her number :)

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