Friday, November 25, 2011

Beer Caps, Bathtubs and Bottle Rockets

"Don't get me started on beer."

"Oh," I set the brake on the beverage cart and glance at my co-worker, "why's that?"

"Well," he says, "I got a call from my best friend. He said his wife wasn't happy with him and she really wasn't happy with me, and maybe I shouldn't come to their house for awhile."

"Uh huh." His expression is so comical, I start to snicker. "So, what'd you do?"

"Well, we made beer, and we figured if we we're going to all the trouble to make beer, that we should up the alcohol content." He locks the last galley compartment and settles into his jumpseat.

I've read about hops and oast houses, but never about the actual process. "So ... how?" I ask.

"Basically," he claps a hand under his chin and rolls his eyes toward the overhead, "basically, you add more yeast. Lots of yeast."

"Uh oh."

"Yep. We stored dozens of bottles in my friend's spare bathroom." He bobs his head. "Thing is, the bathtub wasn't as safe as we'd thought. When the beer exploded, beer caps shot into the ceiling drywall and beer pretty much flooded every surface in the room." His eyes close and he smiles.

When I stop laughing, he continues. "Ever try to get the smell of beer out of drywall?" I snort and shake my head. "How about, grout, ceramic tile or backer board?"

"Stay away from my husband." I splutter, making a mental note to scratch the beer kit from my holiday shopping list.

"My buddy worked for a paint supplier, but he had to ask the experts in the industrial side of operations for help." His lips twitch. "We had to coat the entire bathroom in industral grade sealant." He snorts and gets to his feet.

Wait, that's not always compatable. "But, what if ?"

"Yep," he sighs, "normal house paint is no longer an option."

Normality, I think, is just wishful thinking for women.

30 comments:

  1. What's the opposite of a mysogynist? Accidents DO happen you know.

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  2. Hey! I had to look that up, and no, I am not a misandrist, I just like a funny story and, well, some of you guys are wildly entertaining. :)
    Can I please, speak with your wife, NOW?

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  3. Had to read this one out loud to Hubby. He makes wine, and sometimes some interesting things happen.... : - )

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  4. Oh geez..... Guys and their beer....

    Hey, thanks, Kelly, for the Lovely Blog nod.... I need to get on it, submit some names.... You'd thinks with all this time off I'm having I would be so organized. Thing is, I brought lesson plans with me to AR.... ah, the fun never ends.

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  5. Um, hello, Arizona, hubby, get off the net and go cuddle. :)

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  6. Sounds like the kind of adventure I could have..... LOL! ;D

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  7. Couldn't we all. I'm just glad it wasn't me! :)

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  8. The beer kit really was on my shopping list, but I'll find something else for that friend because I really love his wife.

    Hey, wait! The beer kit is back on the list, but it has a new recipient...

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  9. I don't drink beer but here in the Northwest it seems everyone is brewing it. Great story.

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  10. Hmmm, just trying to picture MY hubby (aka Mr Mishap) trying to make beer... not a pretty picture. This is the guy who pre-drilled the hole for the new handle on the new door AFTER he gouged out the hinge recesses. Problem was the dodor was back to front... so then he rehangs to whole thing to swing in the opposite direction to cover up the mistake.... We pretend this way is better!!!

    Great writing hun!

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  11. Note to self: Do NOT buy one complete beer kit with visions of a new hobby. I'm dangerous enough as it is with a hammer much less yeast. I make no bones about it - I do not do creative projects well and thankfully no longer pretend that I do!

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  12. I like the thought of a beer capped mosaic on the ceiling. Should of went with it and did an old fashion brewery them in the bathroom.

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  13. I'm loving, and laughing at, these posts this week. Thanks for sharing this one :o)

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  14. See what happens when we leave them on their own! I've heard of bathtub gin but ...bathtub beer? ; )

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  15. Now that's a bathroom I'd like to see. Snort.

    Thanks for dropping by guys. I love all the funny comments. :)

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  16. You're a bootlegger!

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  17. Sounds like FUN! Let me have another sip and read this again! Ha! Great post

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  18. That was a good story! Having been involved in the process once or twice, I'd say there is a fine line between making beer and becoming a mad scientist.

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  19. Guess we never outgrow science fair projects. :)

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  20. OMG...no one in our fam has tried the beer making kits yet, maybe now, not gonna happen! LOL I do think I have a friend who might do well with it, but then he'd think raising the alcohol content would be a great idea and then his wife is my best friend and they don't have a SPARE bathroom, so on second thought ummmmmm....NO he isn't getting one either.
    Love the story ... feel bad for the wife, though.

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  21. Now I know what to give my 'non-friends' for Christmas ;)

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  22. Ho, now you sound like my sister. She's devious!

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  23. Sounds like the kind of adventure I could have..... LOL! ;D

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