Sunday, November 27, 2011

Oranges and Apples

"Something to drink?" I ask, flipping plastic glasses to the edge of the beverage cart.

Nose buried in the Sunday Times, 9C mumbles. "Apple."

The women in the row smile and chat as they make their choices. I nod open the orange juice carton and start to pour. Early morning flights are easy, sleepy affairs.

"Apple," roars 9c, snapping his paper, and breaking the silence, "apple, apple, apple."

My chin whips around and I goggle at 9c. His face is blotched with angry streaks of red and his paper crinkles in his clenched fists. He's kidding, right? I snap my mouth shut and look at the women. They stare back with wide troubled eyes. I shrug and offer a smile.

9c levitates in his seat. "A.P.P.L.E."

Heads are snapping all over the cabin and I can't help it, I start to laugh. When I can breath, I prop a hand on my hip and give him the stink eye. "Yes," I say, "You can spell, but the ladies are still having orange."

34 comments:

  1. I have no idea what they pay you, but I can say with certainty that it's not enough.

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  2. My only job skill is to out-talk a trouble maker, that, and I get lots of flexibilty and time off :)

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  3. Wow! The nerve, but the world needs more people like you who offers others a SMILE :)

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  4. Oh, I've had a few moments of my own! Thank goodness people are so forgiving.

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  5. We need to send you to Washington, where your patience and level headedness will be a refreshing change.

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  6. Oh dear, why is my husband laughing?

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  7. I've had my fair share of rude people over the years. When I have to, I can grin and move on. As a teacher, you kind of have to. But I've had my buttons pushed like this before and the only thing you can do is just like you did. Make them aware that you're not going to have it.

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  8. Well Otter, I'm thinking that cool Iron man mask you made could come in handy. :)

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  9. You sure have a way with people.... Breaking the tension.... Love it!

    By the way... Liz, the EVERYTHING LIZ blog, is my daughter..... I know, she looks nothing like me... She's definitely Rudy's kid...... I've spent a life time telling people that NO I am not the babysitter.... LOL

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  10. Whoops. Yo habla un poco palabras, solomente. :)

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  11. And, you don't look old enough to have such a lovely daughter.

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  12. You certainly have a way with words! Brilliant :))
    Me, my mind would probably have gone blank, and while searching for words, my hands would have caught up and threw the apple juice at him first! LOL

    Following you back after your much-appreciated visit to my blog ;)

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  13. When I'm happy, the bs just rolls, when I'm not, I get very, very polite. Sigh.

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  14. Bravo, you sure handled that situation well! So many rude, unhappy people, aren't there? Actually, maybe not so many, but the ones who are rude just seem to stand out more. Thanks for the follow!

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  15. Not too many and even on the best day, air travel is rough for passengers. We get it :)

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  16. Oh dear....some people are just the pits!!! Another incisive little vignette. You are the best.

    If I am ever on one of your flights I will take whatever it pleases your Goddessness to give me!!! And I will be grateful. LOL

    M

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  17. Hey, I'm the sweetheart of the cruise crowd, you can have three drinks!

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  18. LOL.....what a perfect come back to Mr. Rude. I can't believe some people. You done good! :-) I don't think I have the patience. He would have been wearing APPLE in his lap then no more job for Mike. :-)

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  19. I don't know whether to laugh or cry--this is such a great story although what an awful way to start a day--(I am out of commission for a while with a broken computer!)

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  20. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the way you handled this situation. The world need more people like you and less like Mr. Apple! :)

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  21. This definitely gave me a chuckle!

    And kudos to you for NOT chucking an actual apple at his head. ;)

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  22. HEY MATEY,
    A VERY FUNNY AND AMUSING POST. :)
    I HAVE POSTED AN AWARD FOR YOU OVER ON MY PAGE, IF YOU HAVE CHANCE HOP OVER AND COLLECT. :)
    EVE.X

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  23. Wow, I just get happy when I see who's come to visit. Yep, happy, happy.

    Uh, Eve, I'm a little afraid, but I'm going to sneak on over to your site. Sssh.

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  24. I wish I could be as even tempered, always with the snappy come-back like you. You are the bomb!

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  25. I wish. I'm an eye rolling, snot-bucket, and my face is so expressive, I had to add commentary so I wouldn't offend everybody on the plane. Somedays it works.

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  26. That made me laugh, you used my very favorite expression .... 'stink eye' loooooooooooooove it!! p.s. you are a very patient woman haha!

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  27. Now you've made my mother laugh. I have no patience, zip, zero, nada, and it took me decades to realize I could keep the upper hand if I stayed happy.

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  28. Well ok I don't know you well enough to say about the 'patience thing' but you cannot deny that you have a very wicked (and I mean that in nice way) sense of humor and that tops patience anyday!!

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  29. It sounds like somebody else (I ready in reverse order) isn't taking their medication!

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  30. Um, grinning ear to ear, whatever do you mean?

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  31. Love it! This sounds like something I get in my inbox every week. When you get a chance, check out Sex Is Overrated for an idea.

    Love your wit!
    Red.

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  32. Love your side panels and sea design.

    Beautiful.

    NEW FOLLOWER

    Elizabeth

    http://silversolara.blogspot.com

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  33. Thanks Elizabeth. I'd like to stick around and chat, but I'm off to your site. See ya soon.

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