Saturday, November 5, 2011
Snot Bubble Stunts Social Development
"Oh that isn't true." Says Mom, angry on my behalf.
"No really," I scratch my head, "The last time I hung out with the cool kids, I was arrested for shop lifting."
"Oh," Mom laughs, "That doesn't count."
"Why," I muse, "because I was on a girl scout trip when I stole a Mickey Mouse ring at Disneyland?"
"Maybe not your finest moment."
I don't mention the coffee cup I lifted from Braniff airlines on my way to Mexico for a USGS wider opportunity, or how adept I was at forging her signature on a credit card.
"You were popular in high school."
I don't miss that her comment is more question than statement. "Maybe for a day and a half."
"Band?" She queries.
"I faked it, so I didn't realize the body of my sax was caved in." I grin at her. "And don't forget the tuba player who use to clean his mouth piece on my jeans."
"Grade school, you loved grade school."
Mom is adament, but no. "Nope," I say, "did you know I wrapped Dad's old rubber boot in casting material, swiped the crutches from the hall closet and faked a broken leg?"
"No." She splutters.
"Yep, the coolest skiers had the best casts." I grin, at what used to be a horrific memory. "I faked a broken leg on thursday, played hooky on friday and on monday, I was completely healed."
"Well," she say's, "I love you."
Huh, turns out I'm popular after all.