Monday, December 12, 2011

Twisted Intentions

"Oooh," moans Brat, clutching her chest and doubling over, "oooh, oooh, oooh."

Brows raised, Beamer and I look at each other and then turn to stare at Brat. We're in the middle
of the baby supply aisle when our little sister goes into a full body spasm.

Brat rubs a hand across the front of her shirt, and contorts her face. "That has to hurt."

Perplexed, Beamer stutters a laugh. "What has to hurt?"

"That," Brat points at the shelves.

Beamer studies the display, then turns to Brat. "The nipple brush?"

"Oooh," she nods, "oooh, oooh, oooh."

For a moment, we purse our lips and then start to laugh. I snort as Beamer says. "You don't use the brush on your nipples, you use it to clean baby bottles."

"Oh," says Brat, as shes saunters down the aisle, "nevermind."

38 comments:

  1. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I love true kid stories!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Jo; When you assume...you know what that does. This story indicates nothing about the age of the participants.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now that's a good chuckle for a Monday morning!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, she was around twelve, but she hasn't changed in the three decades since.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Children are amazing, and the associations they make are great!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I deeply resent the assumptions that she must be blond. : - )

    ReplyDelete
  7. TOO funny! Oh, and as someone who started out blonde and has since returned to, um, blonde, I'm with Angela. ;O)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Will it help if I tell you, she's highly intelligent?
    Intuitive with the everyday stuff ... not so much. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Out of the mouths of babes! LOL! :0)

    ReplyDelete
  10. And they DO hurt. Ouch!
    Sincerely,
    Another Blonde

    ReplyDelete
  11. That was a fun journey down the aisle of the store with you! (mutters, "nipple brush" and starts laughing again).

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you hadn't told us what they were really for, I would have been writhing on the floor with Brat...at the age of 40.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yeah well I've been know to send my husband to the Vagina Aisle from time to time.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Artful, you had me doing the same thing. :)

    Jane, Jane, Jane ...

    Mrs. Tuna, if I tried a thing like that, I'd wind up with a box of depends.

    Thanks for the visits guys!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. oh my gosh.... that sounds like a conversation i've been part of... kelly... thanks for the laughs... lightens my day... :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. Reminds me of that Bill Cosby show a while back...Kids say the darndest things...or something like that

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ha! A nipple brush WOULD hurt! ...But nursing hurts much more than any nipple brush (at the beginning... and also at the end when the little bugger starts biting, come to think of it... YOUCH!)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love kids, and adults when they act like kids.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This put a smile on my face, and since I'm back at work today, I needed that. Thanks. Also, thinking about that act makes my nipples hurt. Maybe I'll just get my chest waxed instead. That can't hurt as bad. Right?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi - this is my first visit and I love the Brat already!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Having known Brat since our college days, I can totally still see her doing this now! So enjoy following your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wait. Seriously? Maaaaannnnn....

    Then, what is my toothbrush for?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anthony, you visit and I crave pie ...

    So nice to meet you Kitty. Everyone loves Brat, but seriously ...

    Hmm, I met several Smart Cookies on our cross country adventure. Is the the Queen of Cups?

    And, Martha, Martha, Martha, you and I need to have a little chatty chat.

    ReplyDelete
  24. LOL...Oohhh I love reading this post!

    This is CeCe, new follower here. Will definitely be back for more reads. This made my night.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ooh, Cecilia, thanks for visiting. I'm doing a little happy dance and waving my arms. :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Woot! Thanks Cathy. I loved your blog, so good of you to follow me home :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. That's hysterical!

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/12/gbe2-curiositywonder-and-after-life.html

    ReplyDelete
  28. Fell behind a bit while I was on a flying visit to my mom - but Oh geez I missed you!!! This is just hilarious.

    ReplyDelete