Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Snot Me

"You've always been a snot bucket." Says Mom

I blink.

"You could," Dad clears his throat, "get through life with a little patience.

Huh? I haven't been targeted by the parental team attack for, oh I don't know, a decade. I widen eyes at Dad. "Well, I've made it this far."

The stink eye flares to life and Mom snaps. "Kelly Louise."

Dad, more of a pacifist, chuckles. "I liked to pinch your toes when you were a newborn."

I narrow my eyes.

"Yep, I'd hold you up with one hand and stare into those marvelous beady little eyes. You weren't a cryer, but boy could you glare. I'd pinch the tips of your toes and your eyes would flash."

"You weren't a happy baby." Adds Mom.

"Thanks guys." I mumble under my breath, but memories flash across their features and I don't think they hear me.

"You didn't smile until the day you sat up." Dad wags a finger at me. "After that we didn't see a happy face til you learned to walk. Did we Honey?"

"Not likely," Says Mom. "Then you destroyed three playpens and your sister's crib."

"Yep," Dad drags his fists outward from his solar plexis and grunts, "you pulled the bars apart on one, demolished the netting on another, and dismantled the third."

"Then you became a nightmare." Says Mom. "Want tea?"

"I'll stick with coffee, thanks, but keep this up and I'll need a cookie."

"You always did." She says. "Cookie Daddy. Cookie Daddy. Cookie Daddy. That's all we heard at bedtime."

Dad laughs, his head nods, his eyes twinkle. Mom's a smart woman, she's devious, I think she made sure I'd be calling for Dad in the middle of the night. I'm sure Dad knew it too.









37 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. OMG, a new feature. When did this happen? Oh, sorry, nice to see you Wily, thanks for the visit.

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  2. Nothing like family to keep you grounded - love this!

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    1. And to think they had more children. I tried to talk them out of it, but you can't tell people that age anything.

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  3. Mmm...cookies. I think The Wife trained our kids to call me in the middle of the night, too.

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  4. Just go ahead and think you're something special and then just for good measure, tell your family how cool you have become! They'll remind you from whence you came, quickly. It's all good.

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    1. I tell Mom that my first book will be The Diminishing Gene Pool. She says she kept having babies til she got it right.

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  5. Cute, cute story! Great dialogue!

    My Mom and Dad said that when I was a baby and would get mad at them, I would "throw them whammies." (dirty looks) ;)

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  6. It's been said already but this is good, heartfelt dialogue. Easy to relate to.

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    1. Stephen, I hope everyone follows you home to The Chubby Chatterbox. Your posts are brilliant.

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  7. Ha. Clever Mom you have there. Really? You a snot? I can't imagine it. .....Well, maybe... A little bit. ;)

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  8. Yep, Mom doesn't waste her wisdom. She spends it on her loved ones. Sigh.

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  9. Great post, Diva! I love the photo!!!

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    1. Thanks for the visit Ms. A Have a wonderful day.

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  10. Thanks. That pic is one of my favorites. And the couch? The couch I destroyed a few years later.

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  11. What a fun read Diva... you had me laughing the whole way through.

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    1. You're easy, but I'm so glad you're here.

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  12. What would we write about if we didn't have our families? Families are such fun and I love yours! :D)

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  13. YOu and I seem to have had the same haircut at the same age......wish you could have smashed the bowl they used!

    Great Post

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    1. I wasn't aware of my hair til the pixie cut. Was that ever awful!

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  14. Aw. What a cute post. you seem pretty happy now so maybe you got the glaring mostly out of your system as a babe in arms.

    I want a cookie too. So badly. Damn the January diet!

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    Replies
    1. Kashi oatmeal dark chocolate chunk. It's all about health, right?

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  15. I bet you smiled more than that!

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    Replies
    1. Lots, then I hit thirteen and lapsed into a constant smirk.

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  16. Well they didn't make furniture back then like they do now. Even a sweet little girl like you could tear it apart. Oh yeah, the new stuff is the cheap junk. Oooops.

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  17. The love of parents is so beautiful. Cookies are awesome.

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  18. Love the story! Thanks for sharing.

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  19. You could always threaten to pinch some parental toes. That might cure a case of stink eye.

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  20. Cool tale, really made me smile :o)

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