Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Saved by the Bell

The front door slams and Jinxso sails into the living room. I ignore her and continue shredding cheese at the kitchen counter.

"We can't watch TV until our homework is finished." She tosses her books on the table and glares at me. "Turn it off."

Well I'm watching Donny and Marie, and I've graduated, so the rules don't apply to me. "No," I smirk, "go study in your room."

Her chin shoots up and she stomps toward the TV. I knock her aside with my hip and pull the knob from the set. "Go. Study. In. Your. Room."

Fine curls trembling, she howls and lunges over the back of the couch to pull the plug. I roll my eyes, shove the sofa with my foot and knock her into the wall.

She lunges.

I grab her shirt with both fists. She twists and cloth tears. If she'd listen to me in the first place, this wouldn't happen. With a sob she shoves her books off the table and runs to her room.

Victorious, I retreat to the kitchen and spread mayonnaise on a slice of white bread. When she returns, I launch into a speech about mental stability and wait for her reaction. She erupts and I shove the bread against her cheek where the mayo holds it in place.

Jinxso eyes are glassy with unshed tears. She snatches the knife I've left on the counter. Hair prickles the back of my neck. I've gone too far, so I stroll to the front door, turn and give her an airy little wave. "See ya."

The front door rocks on it's hinges as she hits the other side. I start to laugh, but now I'm stuck outside in the heat. Our old yellow station wagon is unlocked so I crawl inside and crank down the windows. Sweat trickles down my back.

Beamer and Brat saunter up the walk. Tail wagging, Bandit trails behind them.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Playing for an audience, I fill them in. Brat's eyes go wide. Beamer smirks and heads for the house, but the doors are locked, the windows are bolted. Unhappy, they glare at me and then shrug and climb into the car.

Eventually Mom and Dad return. Bandit barks, Beamer and Brat whine, Jinxso, her cheek glistening with mayo, flings open the door and adds her voice to the chaos.

I am about to die.

But in the next instant, Mom's hand shoots into the air. "I do not want to hear it."

Five angry voices fill the air. She repeats herself and Dad steps in. "Girls, you heard your mother, now everybody get a bag of groceries and while you're at it, find a way to get along."

In that moment I hear angels sing, but I know, I know, Jinxso will win the next round.








38 comments:

  1. This brings back so many memories for me!

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    1. Hi Shelly, I'm looking forward to part II of your story.

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  2. Yeah well I'm the middle of 7 kids. There was only an 8 year difference from youngest to oldest. Talk about chaos.

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    1. I was right, your recipe for peach sangria is excellent. Bottoms up Mrs Tuna.

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  3. Hahaha! Were your parents exhausted all the time? I bet they were!

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    1. Hmm, could be the old adage, you reap what you sow but I think my parents had as much fun as we did.

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  4. We weren't that many but boy, could we generate some noise. Scenario seems very familiar some how. :)

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    1. I'll bet you were quite something. Hey, let me talk to your sibs.

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  5. Oh you can't believe how much this sounds like my kids.

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    1. Summer camp Bodacious. Send them for a least a month!

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  6. Sounds like sisters! It was me and Brenda that were always fighting because she wouldn't leave me alone.

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  7. Family love in the midst of chaos-- Yeah, mom!

    I'm seven years older than the next in the family. Might over right was my motto.

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    1. Darn straight. I told Mom my first book was going to be called The Diminishing Gene Pool. She said she kept having babies til she got it right. Harumph!

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  8. Thanking my lucky stars I didn't have a sister, and the ones I chose are fab...

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    1. Excellent, family is anyone and everyone you love.

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  9. Like you had a telescope pointed at my house ; )

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    1. As soon as littlest gets home I hope it's happy chaos.

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  10. Well handled - apart from going outside. That left "the demon" open to do whatever she wanted to with your room!
    Good laught!
    Salagatle!

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    1. Right! I do have to admit I was afraid of Jinxso and sharp objects. Thanks for the visit Wreckless.

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  11. For Donny and Marie? You do what you have to do.
    I bet your Mom was givin' out the ol' Stinkeye.
    :)
    Awesome-sauce. Your stuff amazes me.

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    1. Awesome-sauce, it's not a coincidence I want to steal your fab phrases. You are absolutely my soul sister. (Um, you don't have any sharp objects do you?)

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  12. Sometimes I need to be reminded why I never got married and had kids. Thank you.

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    1. Ah yes but someone's kid is always lurking nearby. At least you can run home and bar the door :)

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  13. When I write passages about siblings, I often find I have some issues portraying realistic relationships because, as an only child, I can't relate to them. This piece has been of some help to me. :)

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. Shoot Barb, I'll send you as many siblings as you want. What was your address again?

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  14. My sister was 8 years younger than me so I never got to bully her. I missed out on so much.

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    1. You better make up for lost time. Eight years has never slowed me down :)

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  15. I love your blog so I thought I would spread the love: http://www.lifecherries.com/2012/07/more-awards.html

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  16. Great story! I felt it...
    I hate to say it, but that reminds so much of the chaos that took place in my childhood home. I guess I should say "homes" because there were many.

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  17. If you were saved by the Bell, does that make you the one for whom the bell told?

    Happy 4th of July from a strange Canadian Bear.

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    1. The beauty of a large family is noone can remember who's the one in trouble.

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  18. LOL! I would have loved to have slapped someone with mayo'd bread.

    Alas, I was the youngest.

    I learned how to dance by avoiding snapping wet towels. o_O

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    1. Now that's an image that brings a grin to my face. :)

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