Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Silver Lining My A...

     "Look," says Rob holding his ipod aloft, "I hacked into your iphone. I can read your messages."

     My mouth pops open. "Why would you do that? Why would you hack my account when you can just pick up the damned phone and look?"

     A smug smile curls his lips. "Because I can."

     My muscles knot and anger skates down my spine. This is too much aggravation in the morning. Okay, it's noon, but with flight delays I didn't get home til four am. I. Do. Not. Need. This. I try a different tact. "Okay, fine, just reverse whatever you did."

     "Nope." He grins and I want to smack him but I don't have the energy.

     "Rob dammit," I shout, "fix my phone."

     "I'm not even sure how I did it in the first place," he snuggles back on the couch and yawns, "a flight attendant walked me through the process step by step."

     I'll step by step his happy ass, so while he naps, I surf the net for answers. How the hell did my computer illiterate hubby do such a rotten thing?

     I can't figure it out.

     When he wakes I watch him out of the corner of my eye and, even though I want to kill him, I paste on a bright smile. "Hey honey," I say, "lets break into Beamers account." How can he resist? I figure I'll watch over his shoulder and then be able to reverse the process.

    "Nope." Sitting cross legged on the couch Rob is the svengali of cool. My temper explodes.

     "That's it," I shout, brandishing a  coffee cup at his head, "fix my phone or I'll break your fingers, I'll change the passwords on all your accounts, I'll, I'll ... "

     "Relax," he flips on his ipad and puts my message on his screen, "I don't know where this came from but it showed up in my picture album."

     And then I get it. My co-worker, Craig, showed me how to take a picture of my screen which zipped into the cloud, landed on Rob's ipad and became a tool in his diabolical scheme.

     Okay I can take a joke and to show my appreciation I'll be signing Rob up for a colonoscopy.



63 comments:

  1. Only a colonoscopy? You're lenient :)

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  2. Maybe you could eat his favorite foods while he's drinking his delicious prep! Julie

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  3. I agree with Roly... you're very lenient!

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    1. That's me, a little lenient bowl of sunshine :)

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  4. Ha! Sounds like a prankster...a colonoscopy might be fitting. Once a friend changed the language setting on my phone so all the letters turned to Chinese characters. When I told him to change it back he said, "How can I? I don't read Chinese!"

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    1. What a fabulous idea. Rob has an old flip phone, so no Chinese, but I've switched it to Spanish. Wonder if he'll even notice?

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  5. Hacking brings steep consequences...

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    1. Usually I know what he's up to, but every once in awhile ...

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  6. Hah!!!!
    A fitting 'end' to a crappy deed!

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    1. Crappy indeed. Rob's still proud of himself.

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  7. Hahahaha...I would think he would know not to mess with someone so diabolical. Colonoscopy...very clever, evil but clever.

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    1. I've used that threat so often it no longer works. Sigh.

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  8. Hey! Haven't seen you in ages! ♥
    This is not only funny but also so manlike. I am completely unable to screen shot anything...I have no idea why, I just cannot do it. If I had done it by accident, I'd have to sit for days on end figuring out how. It is such a thorn in my side because everyone says it's easy and I do exactly what they say and NO screen shot.
    UGH

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    1. Jo, I've decided that damned screen shot is nothing but trouble.

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  9. I think he'll be getting the worst "end" of the whole thing...

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    1. One of these days Pat, one of these days.

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  10. Oh I love the posts where Rob gets in trouble! Or a scheduled colonoscopy!

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    1. I bitch, he pushes buttons and we both laugh ... eventually.

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  11. Replies
    1. You betch Lanthie. You're a hard gal to follow home, but I found you at lifecherries.com

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  12. I'm with others — a colonoscopy sounds like very mild treatment. I hope you truly have your phone back.

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    1. Rob can't even remember a password, but he sure had me going.

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  13. Sign his up for a colonoscopy? You really play to win. I must remember to never tick you off. Ha!

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    1. Nah, I rant and rave but I never follow through on a threat.

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  14. A lobotomy would probably be more in order.... ;)

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  15. ad in a scene from young frankenstein-abby normal and you have a hit on your hands!

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  16. The colonoscopy is great revenge. Love it!

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. Revenge is great, but why he is always one step ahead?

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  17. This was probably funny. If I understood what happened. My 8-track player is about as techno as I can get.

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    1. I have fond memories of my 8-track player.

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  18. IPADs and Iphones are the devil's brew of trouble. Rob is quite clever.

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    1. Beamer says I'm on the bus to Hell and Rob's driving.

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  19. I am not smart enough for my new smart phone.

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    1. I'm usually tuned in to his BS, but every now and then ...

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  20. oh lol but revenge is sweet.

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    1. Just waiting for the perfect moment :)

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  22. :-) He'll never see it coming.

    Pearl

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  23. I think I would have to kill my husband if he did this to me....or at least dunk his phone in that cup of coffee!! A colonoscopy would be a GREAT punishment for him. Go for it!!!
    Love your blog--glad I found it via the comment you left at my site. Just joined on your Google Friend Connect (under the name Marcia Doyle) so that I can get post updates from you. Excellent blog you have here! Oh, and BTW--if you want to read a funny account about husband/wife colonoscopies, visit my blog and scroll down to an older post called, "I Need A What?" I think you 'll get a huge kick out of this one! http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

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    1. Too funny Marcia. When Rob has to prep I'm going somewhere far far away.

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  24. Hehehe! Go get him! My two-year-old can work my husband's iPhone better than I can.

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    1. Right! At two Rob was drooling over a Mickey Mouse balloon.

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  25. grrrr the punk!! Too funny how technology plays out in our relationships! Thanks for the visit to my blog, and I enjoyed my return visit as well and look forward to reading more!

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    1. Lori, thanks for stopping by. What's not to love about all the fashion on your site?

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  26. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Are all of your posts your own real-life adventures or is there some fiction mixed in as well?

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    1. I say fact, my sister's scream fiction.

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  27. Oh golly gosh, I don't know if this is true or not...but the feelings of helplessness, AND revenge were wonderfully communicated! Nice to meet you Diva. Thanks for visiting Middle Passages. Didn't think there was anyone else in the world who loved both Mama Mia and Sweet Home Alabama the way I do. Just watched Mama Mia the other night for the millionth time, and it is constitutionally impossible for me NOT to stop when SHA is on TV. My family rolls their eyes at me.

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    1. Mamma Mia is perfect for driving my husband out of the house and lifting my spirits.
      And hubby? Hubby is technology challenged so how I ever fell for this prank.

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  28. That is so funny. What an exasperating situation to be in. Like you, I would have wanted to kill him. Glad he's not into computer espionage after all! :)

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    1. Forget cats, Rob's on his umpteenth life.

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  29. a colonoscopy... i've heard those aren't so bad... how about a physical, you know, rob has to cough while the doc holds his 'jewels'.. and take a pic of his face in the process!.. :)

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    1. Ooh, you evil girl, what other devious tricks are in your repertoire?

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  30. Colonoscopy is perfect revenge, I say. I'm good at getting revenge so if you need some more suggestions...;) I wish you all the best in plotting your vengeance.

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    1. Give him five minutes and I'm sure he'll be in trouble. When he is, I'm turning to you.

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