Saturday, July 14, 2012

Stuck Like Glue


"Oh my," say's a woman as she peers at my wings, "I wanted to be a stewardess." She sighs, then claps her hands. "Let me tell you about the interview."

Checking my watch, I nod.

"Well, it's a long story."

"Better paraphrase," I say, "I have a flight to catch."

"Oh okay, but let me set the stage." She wiggles her hips, stamps her feet and waves a hand in the air. "At the last minute a friend told me about an open house for prospective stews, and even though my hair was long and thick," she shakes her silvery bobbed cut, "she suggested I add a hairpiece and wear false eyelashes."

I smile. On a whim, I've just purchased my first set of lashes.

She laughs. "I wore a red, white and blue mini skirt, a hairpiece anchored at the crown of my head and of course I had a small purse with a chain strap. Everybody who was anybody owned a purse with a chain link strap. They were very hip."

So much for a quick story, but I have time.

"Okay," she stamps her feet. "go go boots in white and I was all set. Only it was a humid day and the glue on one of my lashes got sticky and the damned thing slid around and I didn't know it was stuck about a inch above my right eye." She waggles her brows and gives a significant look. "I'm leaving out a lot of detail."

"Don't worry, " I grin, "I'm getting a great visual."

"Well, I set off to the interview. The reception area was on the lower level and I'm halfway down the stairs before I decide to let go of the rail so I'll look poised." She sniggers. "I tripped."

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh is right. I tripped. I tripped, went down several steps face first and knocked the hair piece askew." She grins. "Oh let me tell you, three girls were laughing and the rest were thunderstruck."

"So, what did you do?" I ask, knowing she doesn't need any encouragement.

"I tucked my hair under my arm, looked around the waiting room, then took the last spot on a love seat, only I was so nervous, I knocked a girl off the other end."

The clerks are leaning on the counter and we're hanging on her every word.

"Okay, so you know I have an eyelash stuck under my brow, I've fallen down the stairs and all I can do is stuff the hair piece in my purse." She rolls her eyes. "I'll have you know that the interviewer was really sweet. She told me if I didn't make the final cut, to please try again and not to take it as a rejection."

She grins. We're captivated.

She claps her hands again. "Well, I thanked her and barreled out of that room, stopping only when I heard crashing behind me." Her eyes gleam. "Remember the purse with the chain link strap?"

We nod.

"A corner of the table cloth, caught in the purse strap, was attached to the cubicle." She grins. "Turns out those cubicles were all attached and when I charged off, they fell like dominoes."

"Oh no."

She grins at us. "I looked at that lovely young lady and told her if she didn't tell anyone I'd ever been there, I wouldn't either."

I grinned all the way to work.

21 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA!!!! What a terrific story, and so well told.

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  2. Girl, you've got a knack for telling a story!

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  3. Very funny. I can just see those cubicles falling like dominoes.

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  4. I bet she got the job. And I think I was served a drink on a long flight by just such a woman! I love your post

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    1. I'm sorry to say she didn't. Airlines were strict, I'm only here because the year they hired me was idiot proof. They needed as many warm bodies as they could get. Did I tell you they hired my husband at the same time?

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  5. I always like to start me day with a laugh!

    Thanks!

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    1. Thanks for the return chuckle. Oi I'm a nun.

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  6. OMG, what a great story. AND terrific writing -- you're a good writer! What's great is not only is this crazy story within the story wonderful, but so is the voice of your narrator. I'm trying to set up a writing workshop on my blog so would love to have you submit some time. ANd also love that you're able to designate your own parents as trees:)

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  7. Tree designation is easy, it's a girl scout thing. Mom was a fifty year scout and Dad a co-leader for thirty years.
    Saw you featured on Third Sunday Blog Carnival. Way to go Sandra!

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  8. If this is a true story, I think you've met your match at storytelling. If not, you've outdone yourself again! Always love your humor! XOXO

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    1. True, I swear I even took notes in the parking lot and then raced to work.

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  9. and they didn't hire her huh? She'd have been a hoot on a plane.
    That's damn funny. I have had some bad interviews but this takes the cake. Bet they remember her too!

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    1. She was a hoot Peg, I just hope I run into her again. Thanks for the visit.

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  10. Wow! That was a great story! Too darn funny!

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  11. You never fail to pull me in with your stories, what else can I say.

    Off the subject but when I was a flight attendant, (you remind me of this) one morning I was scrambling to get ready, it was SO early. I got dressed and as I was walking out the door I slipped into my pumps, half way through my trip the pilot looks down and says, hey Kelly, did you know you have two different color of shoes on? A navy shoe and a black shoe!

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    1. Too funny, that's when you hold your chin high and refuse to look down.

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  12. What a great story she shared with you! And I thought I had some bad days. NOT!!

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