Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Politics and Pantaloons

"I don't have any clothes." I wail and collapse onto the bright red sofa.

Mom, hands on hips, cocks her head and gives me the stink eye. "Really?" She waits a beat as my siblings, sensing a row, stop what they're doing to watch. "What about the new corduroy pants?"

She can't be serious. I cannot show up at school in bright burgundy, wide wale pants or any of that other gold and orange crap she insisted I have for the school year. Slouching lower, I glare back and heave a sigh. "I hate them."

"Is that so?"

I nod, and hold my breath until she leaves the room. My sisters return to their game. Five minutes later, Mom marches back and drops a load of clothes on the table. Still angry, I ignore her.

"So," she says in a voice that promises retribution, "who wants this shirt?"

My head snaps up. "That's mine." Outraged, I leap to my feet and make a grab for my favorite t-shirt.

She snatches it out of reach. "Not so fast," she tosses the shirt to Jinxso, who is dancing in delight. "According to you," her grin is feral, "your clothing is unacceptable."

My lip curls down as I stare in disbelief. Beamer smirks and Brat paws through my belongings. MINE. I want to howl. Turning on my heel, I run from the room, slam my bedroom door and fling myself across the bed. I sob.

They laugh, and it takes two weeks to reclaim my clothes from the laundry.

44 comments:

  1. I can totally see my daughter doing something like this with her girls! They wouldn't be happy, either. (I can hear the doors slamming, as I think about it)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your mother's great! GREAT! Yay for Moms taking control. I now live in Egypt, and Moms/wives are servants here. It's disgusting. :( The worst thing is - they LIKE it. Eww.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The worlds a strange and wonderful place, and though I'd like to see most of it, I'm glad I was born with the freedoms I enjoy. You have an interesting blog Lexa.

      Delete
  3. I can totally relate :) My mum gives me the most awful clothes and looks at me with her lips pursed whenever I tell her I have nothing to wear. She goes you have PLENTY of clothes and I always reply that there is no way I am putting them on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As it turns out, Mom is fashionable and I'm a candidate for What Not to Wear, but I still maintain she made some questionable purchases on my behalf. Oh okay, she paid for them at the store and I paid for them at school :)

      Delete
  4. I can remember a similar incident from when I was about 12. Except mine went to cousins, and there was no return. Well told!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great picture
    I hated all my clothes growing up. Fashion was not a consideration at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try, but my closet wears dresses and I wear jeans.

      Delete
  6. I think I love your mother.
    Unless of course she was mine.
    In that case I would stomp off to my room and slam the door!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mom didn't care if we slammed the door as long as we stayed on the far side of it til we got our act together.

      Delete
  7. Isn't this a standard mother-daughter scene in every home, starting age 13? Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not quit as intense as negotions between alligators and cats. Your blog is marvelous.

      Delete
  8. You're mother sounds like she was very wise in how she handled kid-related issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is power in the unflinching stinkeye.

      Delete
  9. Hi = thought I would drop you a quick comment just to say that I was here! Regards from a cold South Africa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Lanthie, another week and you'll be printing treasure. Thanks for the visit.

      Delete
  10. Oh My Gosh this is great. I'll have to try this out on my kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love to see the looks on their faces.

      Delete
  11. Two weeks to reclaim your clothes. You were lucky to get them so soon!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I will definitively try this one with my girls when they get to that age. I can already see their faces. Wicked! XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep a straight face Gina and you'll be fabulous.

      Delete
  13. Yeah, mom! It got so bad with our kids we finally told them to wear whatever they wanted. After a week of looking like skid-row clowns they started mixing and matching.

    ReplyDelete
  14. OMGosh, how I heart your Mom. Stink-eye and all. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've tagged you in a round of blog tag! The post will be up on Thursday :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. BRILLIANT MOM...but what DID you end up wearing to school?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love your family. Your mom is my kind of mom... because two days ago I said the words, "Where is that bag of clothes? I still have receipts!"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hahaaaaa! this made my morning. I've pulled this classic mom stunt a time or two. Tween girls are insatiable.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lol! Oh the memories. I remember doing the same thing. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. We had the opposite problem at our house, my daughter left her crap all over the bathroom floor. I quietly starting collecting it. The first time I made her buy it back for 25 cents a piece. But it was an all or nothing deal. Next time, 50 cents a piece. The last a dollar for each. Lets just say my guest room bathroom has been devoid of clothes for 3 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, a little fiscal responsibility tossed into the mix. Nice!

      Delete
  21. The world needs more mothers like yours! Hooray for no-nonsense solutions :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It gives Mom great joy to teach her kids a lesson, still.

      Delete