Saturday, September 8, 2012

We've Been Here Before

Oh yes we have.

"So," says Rob looking over the rim of his reading glasses, "How much do you weigh?"

I flash him the stink eye but the man is impervious so I grit my teeth and growl. "I thought you and Luis were going to drag the boat out of the muck."

The time is 6:37. 

The good news comes on at 6:30. I have to call work at 7:00 and find out if I have a trip tomorrow. Maybe I do, maybe I don't, but if I'm on the short-list, I go to bed at 7:03, leave the house at 02:00, and nap at the alligator alley rest stop until I get the call.

My temper has been inching north since noon.

The time is 6:38 

Rob spots Simon and bends down to scratch his ear. "So," I heave a sigh, "do you need a hand?" 

Rob pulls up his shirt and scratches his belly. "That'd be nice."

"Dammit Rob," I stomp to the bedroom, "I told you twenty minutes ago that I wanted to watch the news. I told you that I had to go to bed early. I told you ..."

Even I tire of my rant so I tear off my pajamas and yank on a pair of shorts.

When I return, Rob is not behind the wheel of the truck, he is rolling on the floor with the dog.

The time is 6:38.

"Can we get this over with?" I say as I head outside, mindful to slam the door in my wake.

I ignore Rob's chuckle, haul myself into the bed of the truck and settle my weight over the stuck tire.

Slowly, ever so slowly, cause he knows I'll blow a gasket if he doesn't get this in one, Rob pulls the truck and trailer to dry land.

"Just remember," I say as I climb out of the bed, "you can't do this with a skinny wife."

The time is 6:39







34 comments:

  1. ROLF! Yeah absolutely! Still laughing

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    1. Enjoyed your blog post Phoenix. Thanks for the kind words.

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  2. a square knot, really? I think you must weigh just enough!
    very funny kelly!!

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    1. I like the way you think. Yep, I'm the perfect size for my pants, almost.

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  3. Very Funny. Heft has certain advantages, but I doubt you're all that hefty.

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    1. Hefty enough to get his boat off a sandbar or two by sitting on the bow :)

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  4. Why do so many men not get the full gist of the wifely stink eye? So much is communicated in that one look that they too often miss...

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    1. Right! Dad just chuckles when Mom gives him the look but, I swear, Rob starts to plot.

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  5. You have either a very brave or very silly Hubby. I wouldn't dare ask my Beloved's weight, age or bank balance.

    Well done on shifting the truck. I'm just surprised he didn't ask you to get out and push.

    I think we've all been slaves to the ticking clock at one time or another.

    BTW, What happened to the Coast Guard stories?

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    1. I have a brave and oblivious husband with a good heart. Yeah me, I'm nnot sure I derserve to have this much fun.

      The Coast Guard huh, well after your last post, I can't stop thinking about run-ins with the law.

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  6. Loved it! Just what would happen with a truck driver's family or a farmers family! You are too good!

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    1. Unfinished paintings and pianos, you sure know how to set a scene.

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  7. What a hoot! I'm still laughing. Well done.

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  8. That was great! What an interesting combination of words: stink eye! Funny!

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    1. Thanks for the visit Karen. So nice to meet you.

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  9. So, there ARE times when those couple of extra pounds have an advantage? I haven't come across an advantage, yet.

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  10. Love it! Love how clueless Rob remains. Also love how you never give up, thinking that stink eye will put him back in line...bless your heart.

    Skinny women or not nearly as useful as those of us with a bit of, shall we say, fluffiness?

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    1. Fluffiness, you have a way with words Jo.

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    1. Thanks Anne, I'm really glad you dropped by.

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  12. Very funny...you have almost talked me out of my diet.

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    1. Oh groan, I need to talk myself into one!

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  13. Ha Ha! Love it and I think I just realized why I'm still married : )

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    1. I'm with you Mom, marriage with the right guy is a safe haven.

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  14. Ha ha ha! Sometimes they just don't get it do they!?! :)

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  15. HA! Amen to that! Skinny wives = horribly over-rated.

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    JHouston791@gmail.com

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  17. Ballast in any form is beautiful! lol

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  18. You have convinced me that a couple extra lbs is not a bad thing! Besides I have also decided that as we age being too skinny makes you look old. Trust me on this one Kelly.
    have you seen Michael Douglas lately? I wanted to scream eat a potato. He looks really old now that he is so skinny.
    See there is a bright side! (that's my story and damn it i'm stickin' to it)

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  19. This is really funny. You just defied the odds when you asked for your beloved's weight and age.

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  20. Giving the stinkeye to my fave chubby chaser never pans out exactly as I think. But it makes for fun married life and a great blog post

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