Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Shake the Gloves Out Honey

Shrugging into a parka I reach for an old pair of leather gloves and catch dad watching me.

His blue eyes twinkle. "Shake out the gloves, honey."

"Really Dad, we're still doing this?" I smirk.

He guffaws and wiggles his fingertips in the air. "Want the gore-tex pants?"

"Nah, jeans are fine." I take one last sip of coffee and then work my hands into the gloves.

"Shake ... "

Jinxso bounds up the stairs. " ... The gloves out honey." We say in unison. She takes a look at me and grins. "Did I ever tell you how I found out about Dad's fingers?"

"No." I watch Dad flip a hand in the air.

Jinxso's smile widens. "When I came up the stairs to Dads office and saw his bandaged hand I said, 'what'd you do, stick your hand in the snow blower?'"

I groan and reclaim my cup. "And?"

He said, "As a matter of fact I did and your old boyfriend's father did the same thing only he stuck his hand in further."

We howl. Dad's grin is sheepish, and Mom rolls her eyes. "Earl," she barks, biting back a laugh, "it's okay to be useful as well as ornamental. I'm sure the girls want waffles."

Of course we want waffles.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Stand up Straight Stupid

So I've been off the net awhile because, oh yeah, I didn't listen to my mother.

"Don't gloat Mom."

"Well I always told you posture was important."

I know, I know. "Stand up straight stupid."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to but don't worry I've decided to blame Brat."

"What I'd do?" Asks Brat walking into the conversation.

"The list," I tell her, "is too long to atone for."

Her brows fly up and she looks from me to Mom. "Huh?"

Mom shrugs. "Her hands hurt."

Brat gives me an incredulous look. "How is that my fault?"

"Well you were always teasing me about ..."

"Oh," her head snaps back and she barks a laugh, "the watermelons."

"They are NOT watermelons." I say cursing the sibling shorthand. "They are not

cantaloupes. They are normal. N.O.R.M.A.L."

Maybe even subnormal but it turns out living life with your chin tucked isn't. My arms go numb, the nerves pop and spark and my grip is shot so I've stayed off the computer cause I can't do anything about the hours sitting in the car, the jumpseat or the airport.

Is this a pity party?

Nope. I'm thrilled I don't have arthritis, irreversible carpal tunnel or, gasp, the dowagers hump I'll earn if I don't stand up straight. I wouldn't even mention it but I haven't been visiting your sites and I miss your witty blog posts. Last I knew Dawn at Lighten Up was in the Walmart mens room and who could miss that?

As soon as I set up an ergonamic standing work station, realign my spine and learn to touch type I'll be back. In the meantime have a wonderful holiday season and don't let anyone saw into your wrists until you get a second opinion, a great chiropracter or physical therapist and learn to stand up straight.

LIghten Up