Thursday, June 13, 2013

Lock and Launch



"Morning Honey." Rob ambles into my room and yawns.

My heart lifts at the sight of him then slams to my gut as the adjoining door snicks shut behind him. "Dammit Rob,"I yelp, "you just locked yourself out of your room."

He gives me a sleepy perplexed look. "I did?"

"Yeah." We've got an early flight to work and I'm not happy but I rein in the attitude and shoot a look at the clock. "Call the front desk and get someone to open the door."

"Okay," he says as he sets down the phone, "they'll be right up." Unfazed, he wraps a towel around his naked glory and saunters into the hallway. The airport van leaves in twenty minutes. Annoyed, I roll my eyes and yank a brush through my hair. Two seconds later Rob is back. "Well I have a key card but I forgot I set the security bar."

"Jesus Rob," I moan, "what if you pay attention?"

"Don't worry," he grins, "They're sending a guy to pop the lock."

Yeah and how long will that take? I snatch up my uniform pants, yank them over my hips and thrust a thumb at my bathroom. "Take a shower Rob or you'll miss pick-up."

"Good idea. You'll answer the door when they knock?"

My jaw hurts. I like mornings but on my own terms so I wake early, drink coffee, stretch out the kinks and enjoy the silence. I'm not happy.

Rob clicks on CNN and my shoulders hitch a little higher. "Now Rob."

He disappears into the bathroom so I click off the TV and pour water into the coffee maker but I can't get the foil wrapper off the filter. I give up and slam the rest of my belongings into the roller-board. I'm at the door when the shower shuts off. "I'll let the crew know you might miss the van Rob, just do your best."

I blow past a man bearing bolt cutters and breeze into the hotel lobby moments before pick-up. I'm telling the story to our fellow flight attendant when a hand settles on my shoulder. "Now this is a funny conversation to overhear."

"Yep," I look at our new Captain, introduce myself and roll my eyes, "my husband."

"It was funnier when I didn't know that."

I grin.

Our luggage is already loaded when Rob trots up to the crowded van so he hauls his roller-board in and plants it on his lap. "Yeah," he says, "lets go to work." He hands me a bit of cut metal and laughs. "I'm a gold member so they didn't charge me for the lock."

As the van stops at another hotel I eye the available space. "Better put your bag in the back Rob so the next guy can find a seat."

He hauls his bag to the front door but it doesn't open.

"Locked out again." Shouts the Captain. The van fills with laughter as Rob returns to his seat and wedges the roller-board between his knees.

Houston, I sigh, we have a launch.






39 comments:

  1. Laughing with you because I live with a man also! Planning ahead is NOT on his radar. Fly by the seat of the pants is his style and yet...we are still together, still in love and I have some fun stories, just like you do, because of that little personality quirk!

    Love your Rob Stories!

    ReplyDelete
  2. love it....only because it wasn't my man this time.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But what has your guy been up to? Hold the door open, I'm popping over to find out.

      Delete
  3. As a man I wish I had a pithy response to this, but I don't so I'll just keep quiet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Steven. Men should be useful, ornamental and wise. You are all three :)

      Delete
  4. Why did i want the towel not to cover his glory? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know I asked to take his picture for a post but he got a little camera shy. Sheesh.

      Delete
  5. Mine rarely thinks past the end of his nose, either.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha ha! That is so funny. I can imagine maddening as the wife, but still funny. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has his moments and when I get a bit testy he just ignores me. Smart man.

      Delete
  7. Oh dear - unfortunately the tables are turned in my home! sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh really? Come on, you know you want to tell us all about it :)

      Delete
  8. Really really enjoyed this,Kelly! :) Sooo funny! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks laila, I got a kick out of your flower faery illustrations. Takes me back to my favorite childhood books.

      Delete
  9. Typical man! Laughing and rolling my eyes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anna, they oughta name a lipstick after us, maybe, Long Suffering Lolita Red or Pandemonium Punch.

      Delete
  10. LOL men!! Awesome post!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great post! Thank you so much for your kind words on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Plans??? What are plans. I gotten through life just fine without them. Of course, I'm married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahem, step aside Dannie and let me speak with your wife please.

      Delete
  13. Men!! Gah! They don't often really get it do they? So funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they do, they're not saying. Loved your latest post and sincerely hope you get a change to have dinner with your son-the old man.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Kelly. That means a lot. And I hope so, too.

      Delete
  14. HAHA! If only people always listened to the ones who were always right. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we know which half of the equation is right :)

      Delete
  15. Actually, my man is pretty good at not doing this kind of stuff.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dang Joyce, can he give Rob lessons?

      Delete
  16. oh rob..... you sound like, i don't know, my thirteen year old son.... good stuff, kelly... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's the thing. Rob is thirteen and he has been for forty two years.

      Delete
  17. ha ha! And not two hours ago I was given 'the look' for asking if someone had the room key as we were walking out. Mmm hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh huh, better hang on to that spare key Mom.

      Delete
  18. There is some kind of role reversal in my house. I think I'm the one with the common sense and my wife of course doesn't worry about a thing. Of course, she doesn't at all agree with what I just said. Oh well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you Pat but if I was having this conversation with your wife, I'd take her side. It's not fair but we women don't have to know each other to be part of the club.

      Delete
  19. I am not saying a word against Rob because I am ALWAYS the one to do the stupid crap...always...and my husband never makes me feel stupid...even though I often am.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all do stupid crap and your husband sounds like a sweetheart. Mine is a big hearted stinker who loves to laugh and if I forget about one of his finer moments, he's the first to remind me.

      Delete