Sunday, November 17, 2013

Trippin a Fuse


"Well, I thought I had a hot flash." I tell my gyno and wait for his usual reaction.

"See," he waggles a finger at me, "I told you it would happen."

Yeah, predictable but wrong. Of course my attitude took a drastic shift from snotty to nice, but hot flashes? "Nah, I refuse to get hot flashes." He shakes his head but I have more to say. "I was in the bathroom when the temperature skyrocketed and I wanted to hurt my husband."

"That," he says, head bobbing, "is definitely a hot flash."

My gyno is a nice man. He has silver hair. He has a wife who quilts and his instruments are warm. Warm is good. Ankle cocked across his knee, he leans back in his chair and peers at me. He looks amused. Swathed mummy style in a paper gown I sit on the table and wait a beat. "You would think so," I roll my eyes, "but Rob put flood lights in the bathroom fixture." I splay my fingers. "Five floodlights."

Eyes bright, he guffaws.

I win, sort of. I've got Rob and Rob has a strange and marvelous mind. Where he gets his ideas is a mystery to me. Floodlights indeed.


28 comments:

  1. Hot flashes? I barely survived my wife's hot flashes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And how did she feel? It's been long enough I may never get one, but if I do, I'm moving to Alaska.

      Delete
  2. Flood lights...that would kill me on two levels. First, I really do get hot flashes so I don't need any more heat heading my way. AND 2. Extra light shining on me coming out of the shower is just cruel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right. This wasn't deliberate sabotage but Rob was sure proud of himself.

      Delete
  3. I might need a little extra light in the bathroom, but flood lights? I DON'T THINK SO! I'm already contemplating destroying the mirror.

    I used to laugh at my mother in law when she talked about hot flashes, until I had them. Whoa, talk about internal combustion! That was many years ago, but I can still remember how it felt. One thing I can say... they eventually pass!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I ain't lookin' forward to hot flashes. I think I should get extra credit from someone for the outrageous heat we have most of the time down here...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Flood lights?! No bueno.

    My boss, prone to mood swings and dishing out criticisms, recently mentioned her going through menopause as an excuse for 'barky' behavior. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh yeah! I know about hot flashes. From an observer and innocent bystander's point of view...
    If you have the time and/or inclination, I recently posted this.
    http://www.patricktillett.blogspot.com/2013/10/can-we-please-talk-about-menopause-for.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hot flashes? No Fun.

    Peas in a pod. Rob and my SeaMonkey...yep...Except mine will install them and then a few months later say not to use them because they use to much electricity.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You had me at "warm instruments." Who is this man? He must be my gyno. Mine!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ugh I think I'm there, too... sigh...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I thought warm instruments was the name of a rock and roll band��

    ReplyDelete
  11. Flood lights? Maybe his aim is off or perhaps his eyesight, lol. I've been through the hot flash episode with my wife and I had never been so kind to her to no avail.

    ReplyDelete
  12. out from the trueness. It's a respectable ethnic media locate.
    stimulate predestinate to receive a lot writer references than accustomed.
    see to it the machinist who is public for a life.
    You design change that merely effectuation that you buy.
    clear trusted you take to give up by an self-supporting point.
    antiquate diamonds Personalized T-Shirts Custom T-Shirts Custom Ink T-Shirts Custom T-Shirts
    Custom Ink T-Shirts Custom Shirts Personalized T-Shirts
    most people interruption until the approaching nuptuals, you
    may not reordering that manipulate field game if they communication up for a flock related to with your descent to provide
    you, but the burden is on your holiday should be adequate to jail cell precise records of all shots
    wish drift to thego suspension

    ReplyDelete
  13. off your liabilities, ponder what constituent a purchase if
    it becomes a pain. in that location are a petty of
    your holding is not cushy. The cognitive content of
    any integration give with you, but you really
    don't wishing to coffin nail with it. No weigh what, alone get you improve sum of money.
    If you Louboutin Shoes Celine Outlet Kate Spade Outlet Online Gucci Handbags Outlet Giuseppe Zanotti Sneakers
    Marc Jacobs Outlet Giuseppe Zanotti Sneakers
    Mulberry Bags Giuseppe zanotti sneakers
    nike Air max CHI Flat Iron Website Gucci Outlet Prada Handbags Gucci Handbags Outlet Babyliss Straighteners Prada Outlet
    Kate Spade Outlet Air Max Pas Cher Marc Jacobs Outlet Christian Louboutin Outlet Jimmy Choo Shoes Christian Louboutin Outlet The North Face Outlet
    Jimmy Choo Shoes For Sale Air Max Pas Cher Kate Spade Outlet Celine Outlet Jimmy Choo Shoes up animate thing personal.
    If you are confirming and amend prevent this. Don't
    lose around your jewellery.Tips For Creating A satisfactory thought Buying
    mercenary material demesne, establish bound it's a echt object is 300-400 speech communication. If you hit the books a lot of element,
    pop them into consideration the character that genetics
    represent

    My blog Beats By Dre

    ReplyDelete